I am fighting my asthma right now. Some days I am feeling better, then other days I am struggling to breathe. Today is a struggling day. Yesterday morning I struggled, but by afternoon, I was much better; figured the Prednisone had kicked in. I am having to take it easy w/ my walking; not push myself too much. I am finding that it is hard to not just fall into my walking rhythm. I have to consciously slow myself down. Being short of breath does take my energy away as well. I am trying to keep moving, not get too sedentary, but it is hard. It doesn't help that the Prednisone is causing me to feel hungry. Good news, my new pants still fit and are not snug!
Today is now Thursday. I am feeling better. Had a nice brisk walk w/ a co-worker at lunch. The Prednisone has really taken a hold, I am in energizer bunny phase. Kat is taking my goals of turning off the TV at night and reading or just having time together w/ a grain of salt, as she should. It is when I come down off of Prednisone that we'll see if I can maintain my ideas.
We have continued to keep our weekends fairly low key. Last weekend was busy, but so much fun! It was Kat's birthday so on Saturday we went to the Saturday Market w/ the kids, had a wonderful dinner w/ Kat a Petite Provance in the Alberta district. We then drove around looking at the different neighborhoods on the East side of town. Sunday we went up to Kat's parents and had a really nice and relaxed day, good food, good conversation, and celebrating another year with Kat.
Fast forward to Monday, Memorial Day here in the US. Have not been as active this weekend as I would have liked. Saturday I did make 10,000 steps, yesterday, not so much. I think today may be about average. We have had a nice and relaxing weekend. Not a whole lot going on, some geocaching, walk to the park, walks to the stores and other areas near home. Today, I have to get all the documentation for the girls to be enrolled in home schooling next year and try to start cleaning out our storage locker. Then back to work tomorrow.
During all of this, I have struggled w/ my asthma off and on. Weather has been wacky for here, so that hasn't been helping. Eating this weekend has been horrible. Lots of salt! Though, some I have binged some, not as badly has I have in the past and man do I pay for it! Pants are still loose and I am feeling better about my weight. All in all, I feel like I am in a good space.
So I figure, I should publish this broken up post before I have to add another day to it. I am looking forward to a busy week at work and the love of family at home. I am one happy and lucky woman!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
My Pants!
So I've been more lax on the food thing. I haven't been eating anywhere near what I used to, but my choices are not the best right now. Also, I am bloated and just feeling fat in general. Today, my pants are snug...not tight...but not as loose as I am used to.
As I am lamenting on this fact I realized...yes, these pants feel snug, but they are also a size smaller! By acknowledging the success I have had my mind set is changing. Yes, I am feeling fat, but I am fat. Yes, I know I'm not closely watching every morsel I put in my mouth, but I know that the amount of food I used to eat and the amount of food I eat now are drastically different. And most of all, snug pants aren't a bad thing when it is a size less than you are used to your snug pants being :D
It is the small goals that help keep me focused. It is hard to recognize and acknowledge the small victories. What I caught myself doing today showed me how easy it is to overlook them. My pants feel snug, snug equals feeling fat, feeling fat equals feeling depressed. I've had this feeling before, many time before. With the familiar feeling, came my usual reactions. By acknowledging that I am a size smaller, I have interrupted that feedback loop and feel better about myself. If I can keep this in mind, I should be able to lay down new neural pathways that will begin to change my reactions to the feeling of snug pants.
In many ways I feel like Yoda was speeding to me "You must unlearn what you have learned". As a Mom, I realize there are many things that we do as parents that our children will have to unlearn as adults. I know that years of snug pants lead me to the feelings I have about snug pants, it is now time to let those feelings go and learn a better way to react to snug pants. I am now on the hunt for other things that I must unlearn. Other places where my reactions are left over from years of negative input and continue to embrace the challenge of unlearning. As Bruce the shark from Nemo....I am not a mindless eating machine. It takes awareness and a willingness to look at what may not be pretty, but those are things that can be changed. Cheers to change!!
As I am lamenting on this fact I realized...yes, these pants feel snug, but they are also a size smaller! By acknowledging the success I have had my mind set is changing. Yes, I am feeling fat, but I am fat. Yes, I know I'm not closely watching every morsel I put in my mouth, but I know that the amount of food I used to eat and the amount of food I eat now are drastically different. And most of all, snug pants aren't a bad thing when it is a size less than you are used to your snug pants being :D
It is the small goals that help keep me focused. It is hard to recognize and acknowledge the small victories. What I caught myself doing today showed me how easy it is to overlook them. My pants feel snug, snug equals feeling fat, feeling fat equals feeling depressed. I've had this feeling before, many time before. With the familiar feeling, came my usual reactions. By acknowledging that I am a size smaller, I have interrupted that feedback loop and feel better about myself. If I can keep this in mind, I should be able to lay down new neural pathways that will begin to change my reactions to the feeling of snug pants.
In many ways I feel like Yoda was speeding to me "You must unlearn what you have learned". As a Mom, I realize there are many things that we do as parents that our children will have to unlearn as adults. I know that years of snug pants lead me to the feelings I have about snug pants, it is now time to let those feelings go and learn a better way to react to snug pants. I am now on the hunt for other things that I must unlearn. Other places where my reactions are left over from years of negative input and continue to embrace the challenge of unlearning. As Bruce the shark from Nemo....I am not a mindless eating machine. It takes awareness and a willingness to look at what may not be pretty, but those are things that can be changed. Cheers to change!!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Readers...what do you think?
Another wonderful weekend!! The twins and I went out shopping Saturday morning, then Kat and I got some time alone Saturday afternoon, so where do we go...the same place every other Portlander goes when the weather is nice...Home Depot! We have several planter boxes on our deck (made by yours truly) and it is time to get herbs and flowers planted. The other thing that Kat and I are starting up is a compost bin. We needed to get some red worms for the bin, so we went to Pet Smart...and of course we come home w/ worms and a bird!
Kermit is a green Parakeet and is just the most active, loving bird. He is still unsure of his new surroundings, but he is getting to know us and even landed on my shoulder yesterday when he was out for his fly. I had forgotten how cool it was to have a bird on your shoulder and how calming hearing them sing is. While I was unsure about this, I am finding that Kermit is adding to our home in a very soothing and calming way.
I was thinking this weekend about this blog. There are lots of blogs out there that focus on food, exercise, different types of diets. I have shared some of my insights as I have been working through how to get my weight off and keep it off. I know that the blog reaches out to people by the friends I know who talk to me about it and by the international readers that the blog has. I continue to be surprised by the countries where this blog is being read.
So I have questions for my readers, what is it that keeps bringing you back to read the blog? Is there something you'd like to see added to the blog? What do you feel the blog is missing that would help you on your journey to health?
I am realizing that while this blog started as a way for me to track what I was doing and to keep me accountable, I never really thought anyone would read it. This blog can continue to be what I need, a record of my journey and a way to hold me accountable for my behaviors, but I am hoping to learn from those who read this blog as well. For this blog to become a dialogue where we can all learn from each other. So let me know what you would like to see, what you feel is missing, my guess is that it will be something that would be of benefit for myself and others as well
Thanks!
Kermit is a green Parakeet and is just the most active, loving bird. He is still unsure of his new surroundings, but he is getting to know us and even landed on my shoulder yesterday when he was out for his fly. I had forgotten how cool it was to have a bird on your shoulder and how calming hearing them sing is. While I was unsure about this, I am finding that Kermit is adding to our home in a very soothing and calming way.
I was thinking this weekend about this blog. There are lots of blogs out there that focus on food, exercise, different types of diets. I have shared some of my insights as I have been working through how to get my weight off and keep it off. I know that the blog reaches out to people by the friends I know who talk to me about it and by the international readers that the blog has. I continue to be surprised by the countries where this blog is being read.
So I have questions for my readers, what is it that keeps bringing you back to read the blog? Is there something you'd like to see added to the blog? What do you feel the blog is missing that would help you on your journey to health?
I am realizing that while this blog started as a way for me to track what I was doing and to keep me accountable, I never really thought anyone would read it. This blog can continue to be what I need, a record of my journey and a way to hold me accountable for my behaviors, but I am hoping to learn from those who read this blog as well. For this blog to become a dialogue where we can all learn from each other. So let me know what you would like to see, what you feel is missing, my guess is that it will be something that would be of benefit for myself and others as well
Thanks!
Friday, May 4, 2012
In a Different Space
This has been a strange week, good, but strange. I am more engaged in work than I have been in quite sometime. I am exhausted when I get home, but it feels good. There is a lot of stress, and Kat takes the brunt by listening to me groan, but then she says, no more work, you are here and you are mine. That makes all the difference in the world to me.
So here I am, a week later. I find that I don't have time to blog. Things that I have discovered have been thrilling and empowering. First off, I am down to 246.8 lbs. I am only 2.8 lbs off of my lowest weight last year! I received my new pants. I ordered them a size smaller than I was wearing. When I put them on, I was very surprised...the fit and are a little big :) Feeling good about the progress I am making. I am realizing I am invigorated by my new job. I am realizing that my job reminds me of when I used to work in the ICU. I love the fast pace and how I have to really engage in the job. I don't have the anxiety of drug administration or missing a critical symptom. I am finding that patient care is coming back quickly and there is a wisdom and confidence behind the tasks that I am doing. It feels good to feels great to use all of my experiences and knowledge to help our patients, but also help my team optimize our ability to provide excellence in care. I am strong and feel great!
So here I am, a week later. I find that I don't have time to blog. Things that I have discovered have been thrilling and empowering. First off, I am down to 246.8 lbs. I am only 2.8 lbs off of my lowest weight last year! I received my new pants. I ordered them a size smaller than I was wearing. When I put them on, I was very surprised...the fit and are a little big :) Feeling good about the progress I am making. I am realizing I am invigorated by my new job. I am realizing that my job reminds me of when I used to work in the ICU. I love the fast pace and how I have to really engage in the job. I don't have the anxiety of drug administration or missing a critical symptom. I am finding that patient care is coming back quickly and there is a wisdom and confidence behind the tasks that I am doing. It feels good to feels great to use all of my experiences and knowledge to help our patients, but also help my team optimize our ability to provide excellence in care. I am strong and feel great!
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