Trying to wright through this...

I am really hitting resistance.  It isn't just a barrier that I am having difficulty moving, but it pushes back! 

The above is all I was able to write on Friday, September 2, 2011.  I am still feeling defeated and frustrated, but was able to get some good sleep last night and felt productive yesterday. 

It was a great day yesterday!  I went to the Farmer's Market with the twins.  Bought peaches and other veggies.  Let the twins play in the fountain there.  Picked up Kat and off to Sauvie's Island to get pickling cucumbers.  Dinner and a video (a treat in our house).  Then up until Midnight canning dill pickles and peaches.  Great family time!  Felt productive!  Didn't get any real "exercise" in. 

Today was an awesome lazy day!!  Slept in, yeah!  Went to Kat's parents for a mid afternoon meal.  Sat out in the Gazebo while the twins ran through the sprinkler.  Reminded me of when I'd visit my ex's parents in Montana, hot, good food, good company, and just comfortable.

On tap tonight, pickle Gherkin cucumbers.  Cut up the onions, peppers, and cucumbers to make relish tomorrow.  Blanch and freeze green beans.  Tomorrow, we can pears and make relish. 

It feels good to be able to be productive.  To me, this isn't work.  I enjoy canning (for those of you who didn't know this before, I'm crazy).  I think back to earlier in the summer, I was building planting boxes for Kat, I felt great.  Motivated, energetic, ready to take it all on.  This weekend, I am perking up, feeling motivated and wanting to keep going.  Keep pushing forward even if the barrier is pushing back.

I can do this!!  My weight is remaining stable at 252.4 lbs.  I have not been working out this last week.  My goal is to walk this week (though it is expected that we will have 100 degree weather) and get over to the gym at work and lift weights.  I am eating better, and continuing to be mindful of my intake.

I will confront my resistance to counting calories and pay attention to what I am putting in my body.  I will continue to decrease the amount of artificial sweetener that I put in my body.  I will acknowledge that my body has to last me another 50 years and I want to be a classic!

I will and I can!