Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Barrier

So making the decision to focus on food and diet rather than exercise has put up a road block.  It seems that I am comfortable pushing the exercise, but uncomfortable with the control of my food intake.  I feel like an ostrich, I want to bury my head in the sand and not deal with it. 

I find it easier to start working out. Exercise helps me cope with stress and gives me time to feel normal and physical.  I always wanted to be a jock.  I am too uncoordinated to be great at sports; I also don't build muscle easily (never have) so I am always round and soft.  I would love to be buff.  Not weight lifter buff, but at least with muscle definition.  I like feeling like I can do what I want to and need to physically.  Having to ask for help with things like carrying stuff upstairs really chaps my hide.

Keeping all of this in mind, I will ruminate more about how to bring balance to my life.

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