Rationalization

Update:

Weight: 252.4 lbs
Net Cal: -493 cal
Exercise: walk the dogs 10 min x2,

So here I am, still bouncing around in the same 2-4 lb area.  I was looking at the graph of my intake and output and it appears to that it averages out to where the net is almost 0.  I feel that I am working and changing diet and exercise routines.  Trying to be consistent.  What do I do?  How can I get more exercise in and how do I eat with fewer calories?

I have started using a smaller plate to assist with portion control.  We have also bought some smaller bowls for the same reason.  While this combined with the weighing of my food is helping, I am finding myself hungry and wanting to eat.

I found myself sitting in my office today, stomach growling and all snacks and lunch eaten.  I didn't take any less food than usual, yet the rumbly in my tumbly is going like a cat purring.  I was thinking, I have to drive to Forest Grove, which means I don't get to eat for another 3 hrs.  I realized that I was rationalizing my hunger and desire to go to the vending machine (which I haven't done in months).  The good news is that I did not go to the vending machine and I was able to drive to Forest Grove and back home without any problems :)

So here I am at the end of my day and I am musing about why I try to rationalize my behaviors, make my unhealthy habits ok.  The only thing I can come up with is that I am not as ready to change as I would like to think I am.  That while my head says "yeah, let's do this!" My psyche says, "whoa, not sure I'm ready to let go of my defense mechanism yet"    The solution, to continue to practice different coping mechanisms so I don't have to use food and my weight.

Successes: Did not go to the vending machine
Barriers: Rumbly Tumbly