Honesty

Update:

Weight: 253.4 lbs
Net Cal: -71 cal
Exercise: walk the dogs 10 min

Being aware of my barriers helps me see the pit falls, but doesn't mean that I have internalized or accepted those barriers.  I have identified that I see counting calories as a barrier, yet, I can't seem to get past that barrier.  I look at what I am eating and the choices I am making.  I see an improvement in my food, yet, my caloric intake isn't changing and neither is my weight. 

Now I do have to say, my exercise has decreased during the same period of time.  I do not feel that there is a correlation between the change in diet and the decrease in exercise.  I do see that I have had other barriers that have influenced my ability to move forward.  My constant hormonal shifts with a period every other week, not sleeping well at night, getting home late in the evenings, ect.  Now am I using these as an excuse or are they truly something that inhibits my ability to take care of me?

I'm not sure yet.  What I do know, is I do need to change how I am looking at things.  I need to be more open to the small successes I have made and stop looking for reasons to feel as though I am failing.  So at this time I am looking at changing some of my habits:

Continue with attempting to get to bed earlier and get more sleep
Start weighing once a week (I will have trouble with this.  Wanting to know what I weigh is obsessive with me)
Continue to work on the calorie barrier
Keep exercising-even just 3 times per week is a success
Be gentle with myself ( I have realized that while I don't feel as though I am beating myself up anymore, I am finding more subtle ways to tell myself I'm not doing it well or right)

Successes: I got up and made it to work and worked the whole day
Barriers: exhausted!