My Own Worst Enemy

I am my own worst enemy.  I can maintain my diet and exercise during the work week at work, but in the evenings when I get home and on the weekends, I have no control.  I am having lots of trouble fighting off the cravings, and not being very successful. 

It is hard, I get hungry, have a craving for something sweet that fruit doesn't satisfy.  I have begun to think about it though; I went to the store last night on a craving run for Kat and I, and as I was looking at the cookies, I made sure to look at the serving size and the calories per serving size.  So instead of getting Pepperidge Farms Milano or Maui cookies, I bought Nilla Wafers.  The differnce 1-2 Pepperidge Farms to 8 Nilla Wafers for about 125 calories.  I have also found a Haggen-Dazs ice cream that helps as well.  Haggen-Dazs has a line called Five.  Each type of ice cream has only 5 ingredients.  It is about 220 calories per 1/2 cup of ice cream.  The thing is, I can't eat a half cup of this ice cream.  We particularly like the lemon ice cream.  A carton will last Kat and I 8-10 servings.  We eat enough to quell our sweet tooth and refresh our palates. 

I do see where I am making some progress and at least thinking about what I am eating on the weekends and evenings.  Even thinking about it, I still feel like I am always fighting myself.  I tell myself, no, wait another half hour before you eat, or trying to arm wrestle my cravings with my will power and frequently loosing.  I did see a positive when it felt natural to pick up the cookie packages and look at the nutritional information.  There was a little tussle at  first, but my objective self took over and started analyzing and calculating what my options were and thought about how much damage do I really want to do. 

I do have a habit of sabotaging myself.  I have a tendency to put myself into stressful situations where I have difficulty maintaining self-care.  Recently, I have had some opportunities begin to present themselves and I have taken into consideration, what will this opportunity do to my stress level; will I be able to continue my self-care efforts, keep walking, continue to progress forward toward health with this opportunity?  It is scary, I don't want to my forward momentum, but I also don't want to stall from fear that I will set myself back. 

I am scared, I see potential, yet I can also see where this could blow up in my face and I could loose the ground I've worked sooooo hard to gain.  On the other hand, this opportunity could help me to be healthier and stronger.  Like most things in life, it is a toss up and there is no right or wrong answer, just what I can make of the situation. 

Kat and I are teaching the twins about how to make good choices that are healthy and beneficial for everyone involved.  I am realizing that I need to make good choices too, but sometimes those choices are shrouded in possibility, good and bad.  One thing I can say, is by being open to opportunity and taking leaps of faith, I have wound up in places I never knew existed.  My knowledge base has been expanded by these experiences and I am who I am because of it.

Given that these experiences make us who we are, finding a way to stay true to my health and not let anything else interfer with that is part of my make up.  I can and I will make myself a priority regardless of external influences!