Support

I am working with my health coach and she has sent me a Resource Guide for Weight Loss that Kaiser has put together.  In some ways it is like working a 12 step program, yet it is not a 12 step program.  One of the things that really caught my attention today while working the work book and reading was the idea of support.

I am a very lucky woman, I have Kat, the girls, my friends, and others who are behind me and giving me kudos, suggestions, and nudges as needed.  I am so appreciative of all of this, yet I find that I have issues actually asking for support.  I have always moved along on my own, to my own drummer.  I am usually a self motivator, but as I am getting older, I am realizing that when I loose my motivation, I shut out any help offered to me.  If I can't do it myself, then how is someone else going to be able to motivate me?  I guess this shows how strongly an internal motivator I am. 

As a kid, I was teased a lot.  I never really felt comfortable around others because of how I was torn down and told I was never good enough.  I learned that if I wanted to get things done, it was me and me alone.  I also learned this in my family.  For various reasons, I took on a lot in our family as the care taker. I just drew further and further into myself.  I cared about what others thought of me and the constant disappointment of not making the good enough grade really was devastating.

I find there are times I still carry this with me.  When I get down and start becoming less motivated, I find that my shame and feelings of being alone become overwhelming and it keeps me from accepting the support offered by others.  Yet, I remember a friend telling me once, that by accepting assistance from others, you give that person the opportunity to help and feel good about it.  I know that when I help others, it gives me the ability to show people that I love them.  By not accepting support, I take that away from someone that I love.  It doesn't seem fair.

So, when I begin to loose my motivation and someone is offering support, please refer me back to this post so that I can remind myself how important that support is.