Being Called to the Torah

This blog is to look at the whole being, physical, emotional, and spiritual.  So far I have not really delved into my spiritual being.  I have brought some of my views in other blogs, but this one will be devoted to who I am spiritually.  I don't expect anyone to believe the same as I do and I in no way am trying to sway anyone's current beliefs. 

That being said, I am excited because I am being called to the Torah tomorrow morning to read.  For those who are between 12-13 years old, this is called a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  So I guess, in some ways, this is my Bat Mitzvah.  Needless to say I am nervous. 

I wasn't thinking too much of it until I was driving home last night from work.  It hit me, by being called to the Torah, it means that I am truly a Jew.  While my conversion at the Mikvah two years ago really helped with my transition from Christianity to Judaism, this is a validation that transition. 

I get asked a lot, why did I convert.  My answer is that Judaism resonated with my energy and being.  There is a connection to all that has gone before that is owned.  I want to make it very clear, I was very happy at my church.  I was an active member (as active as a woman with twin toddlers could be) of St. Gabriel's Episcopal Church in Portland, Oregon.  I loved the community there.  Our Vicar, LouAnn Pickering is an amazing soul and not only supported my decision to explore Judaism, but encouraged me to follow that path.  On of the hardest things I had to do was leave that congregation.  They were my family.  They supported me during an abusive relationship, the birth of the twins, and the divorce from my first partner.  The accepted me with open arms as a lesbian without any questions and made sure that everyone knew that they supported our family. 

So, I left the safety of my spiritual community to explore Judaism.  There is not a hatred of Christianity or a disdain for anything that isn't Jewish.  I have found where I belong, I don't expect anyone else to come with me.  I continue to follow the path laid before me towards a better understanding of the divine.

I can hear you ask, what was it that started you looking into Judaism in the first place.  Well, my second wife; she was Jewish.  As we began to talk about moving in together, I started studying Judaism so I knew what the twins would be exposed to.  She never asked or expected me to convert; we had planned on an interfaith family.  As I began to study, I felt a resonating with the ideology behind Judaism.  There is a connection between God, the Earth, and each other that I never got in Christianity.  The focus on community, on the here and now, on leaving the world a better place than when we came into this world all gave me a sense of purpose and and a sense of belonging. 

The focus was no longer doing good to get to Heaven, but being the human being you can for the betterment of our world; no longer is the individual at the center, but our world is at the center.  One of the things I love about the Jews is that it takes a community to truly live life.  It takes a community to pray, it takes a community to care for the Earth, and it takes a community to care for each other.  My experience has been, as a Jew, I have never had to walk a road alone, I have never been told to just wait and have faith, I have never been told to be someone I'm not.  I have entered into an amazing community that no matter how often you see each other, when you do its like coming home to a big family gathering; warm, fun, lots of hugs and catching up, and mostly love (ok, I'm tearing up as I write this).

My congregational family is full of people where just knowing one of them would be a blessing and I have a whole congregation of them!  So tomorrow, as I read the Torah, I will be completing a Mitzvah and growing as a spiritual being.  Something that I didn't think too much of at the age of 41 is becoming a profound experience for me.  I wish I could share it with everyone :)

I feel my spirit is soaring as I become healthier, and for this I am truly thankful.

First mend yourself, and then mend others.
Jewish Proverb