Feeling Good Day 1

Feeling better today.  Woke up on my own, showered, and my weight is down to 245.8 lbs.  Looking at a moderately busy day, grocery shopping, then soccer and end of soccer season pizza party, then going out Hanukkah shopping w/ my lover.  Tomorrow is a bit smoother, Hebrew school in the morning, then Kat's parents are coming over to celebrate her Mother's birthday (its on Halloween...lucky woman :) 

What I am trying to remind myself is, not to fill up the quiet spaces with projects.  I look out at our deck and I need to get out there, pull all the dead plants out and get our bulbs in.  I need to keep working on the kitchen reorganization; we were able to get the kitchen functional, but there is still so much we want to do. 

Today is just one day of feeling good and already my head is going, I can do this and this and this.  It is kind of scary, especially in light of seeing what my Father does and how it effects him and the family.  I want to be more aware of what I am doing, not be a robot.  As my therapist, Anita, and Kat are always reminding me, I don't have an "S" on my chest.  I am not Superwoman.  Yet when I feel strong, I think I could be Superwoman.

So my goal today is to enjoy each activity and relish the quite spaces in between.  To find solace in that I am strong and that I feel good and not feel the push to use that strength and good feeling up because I don't know how long it will last.  What if I am aware, will these feelings last longer?  Will I be able to keep going?  Only time can answer these questions.

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.” Joseph Campbell