So what do I need? Let's get down to the basics here.
BODY:
Calories:
Using the Daily Caloric Intake Calculator @ http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm, to maintain my current weight, I need 2947 calories/day. To achieve fat loss, 2358 calories/day.
I do not know how many calories per day I am eating. I do know that I have dropped my number of snacks and meals per day and what I eat is more fruits and less snack food.
I find I have a barrier to calorie counting. It is too much work to look up the calories for each thing that I am eating to see if I am staying within the daily allowance.
As for fluids, I drink approximately 3 liters of fluids per day. I have been sober from soda since 4/8/2009. I drink Diet Snapple Peach Tea (the last time I worked w/ Weight Watchers, this was considered the same as water). I also drink part of a Gatorade low calorie most days.
Exercise:
I am currently signed up with KPwalk; a Healthy Workforce program through Kaiser. The program encourages exercise and "rewards" you as you reach exercise goals. So far I have walked 2800+ minutes and earned a lanyard and t-shirt. It feels silly to get excited about a KPwalk lanyard, but it felt good to earn it.
My current exercise regimen is 10 minutes twice a day walking the dogs and then 20-40 minutes of walking at work. Depending on the weather, I walk in the adjacent neighborhood or the parking garage.
On the weekends there is lots of schlepping of groceries and materials for projects around the house.
Sleep:
This is an area that is difficult for me. According to my Mother, I never wanted to sleep because I didn't want to miss anything. I am still that way. Every night,my partner Kat and I say we are going to bed early; we have yet to really make this happen.
What is keeping me up...the computer and games. Then when Kat and I do get to bed, we sit up and talk for at least an hour.
EMOTIONAL:
This is a quagmire that is daunting. I still see a fight; a fight against society, a fight against my automatic negative self talk (ANTs), a fight against unhealthy habits, a fight that is overwhelming and feels never ending.
My goal is to change my internal culture so that instead of seeing a fight, I can see a dance. Something that is active, fluid, and results in beauty and amazement. In away, pounding the sword into a ploughshare, a way to find peace within.
My emotional needs are many, but I feel the place to start is with some of the hardest to tackle: self-care and self-love. By keeping these two issues in the forefront of my mind, I envision a light to guide me through swamp of all other issues(hmmm...sounding a bit ogreish right now :)
So, what I see my need right now is to be gentle with myself, encourage self care and celebrate each of the successes to gain my confidence that I can continue on even when stress and life happen.
SPIRITUAL:
Being a Jew opens lots of new perspectives for me. One of the ideas that Jews believe is that every person is made up of good and bad and to be true to G-d, we learn to live with both. There is no focus just on the good and rejection of the bad. As master Ugay said in Kung Fu Panda: News is neither good or bad, it is just news. I see our spirits in a similar manner. By rejecting half of our make up, we set ourselves up for feeling not ever good enough. For the longest time, I was scared to look at my "darker" side. I was convinced that I was a horrible person because of the thoughts that my darker side has. I've come to realize, my dark side isn't that dark, it just is. It is part of being human, what G-d made.
One of the other lessons I am working with is that of space. Jews look at a page of text and not only look at what is written on the page, but they look at the white space around the words because it is in this space you will find what you seek. It is the same in my life. I have always been one who stays busy all the time. I can pack a ton of activities into a day and get it all done. By doing that, I have no time to look at the space that allow me to find myself. By creating space, I have the time to see life more clearly and see those things that are between the words.
My spiritual needs are that of staying connected with G-d and finding what I need within the blank space of my life.
WHERE I AM NOW:
1. Eating habits: continue to change my diet and find a way to become aware of the number of calories I take in every day.
2. Exercise: Continue to walk and participate in projects/activities.
3. Sleep: Look at ways to adjust my evening routine to include time with Kat, less time on TV/Computer/Phone, and get to bed by 9:30pm
4. Emotional: Be aware of need for self-care and look for opportunities to practice.
5. Spiritual: Stay connected w/ G-d in the spaces between the words.
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